So you made it to some form of social media site and you’ve
finally made contact with another “human being,” or what you hope is a human
and not some elaborate cyborg mechanism. The easiest way to evaluate what is
polite to start the conversation is to simply imagine you are face to face with
this person. Yes, you’re on the Internet and the person can manipulate or lie
about themselves, but if you were there in person they most certainly could
manipulate their appearance and “adjust” their life story. So treat each person
with an equal amount of personal respect just as if they were there right in
front of you. Essentially you socialize just as you normally would, and if you
have issues with that here hare some
do’s and don’ts of basic social interaction.
The key with meeting any new person is interactivity, this
doesn’t mean drilling them with questions like an interview and just receiving answers
this is where you have a back and forth discussion that progresses forward. That’s
the beauty of conversations you draw from common points, situations, you don’t drill
basic questions like Name, Age, Location, Orientation, job. These are very
personal facts about a person that would be awkward if it were the first words
you spoke to someone. Conversation should flow naturally and you can jump
around these topics by commenting differently. For example, “Hello it’s a pleasure
to meet you my name is William.” Social norms would mandate the person to
respond similarly. Think of it as a “Do-As-I-Do” conversational routine. If you
feel comfortable revealing things about yourself then by all means you can
share. It will only allow the receiver of such information to become more
comfortable sharing about themselves. Understand, you should never assume for
the receiver to reciprocate the same personal information.
This makes finding common ground between those conversing so
crucial. I use relevant or notable movies, entertainment, and everyday occurrences
that we all experience to draw from which can lead into such topics as work
positions, schooling, etcetera. The key is to really keep it broad in the beginning.
Touching on things like working late, doing home work, discussing a new movie
you’d like to see, a band coming into town, and etcetera. These types of
questions can help encourage interactions, change the course of a conversation,
or realistically gather more information without asking direct questions. A
great example would be saying, “I’m so excited to have moved so close to
Disneyland, I’m getting my season pass tomorrow after work.” This is a simple
statement that hits the person with so much information. Look at it closely, I
have indirectly informed the listener that I have recently moved, I now live close
to the Anaheim area, I enjoy theme parks, I enjoy Disney, I value vacation, and
you could even assume that I normally work on Sundays. This allows for the
listener to gather the information themselves. It allows for interaction within
the conversation and leads your audience to inquire within a multitude of topics.
You can singlehandedly maneuver a conversation on a course and maintain almost
complete control while allowing for the other person to feel as though it is a
normal everyday conversation. Its an art form that has been diluted with the
use of online mediums and needs to be brought forth for real emotional
connections to be made, or better yet…felt. In this article you will find greater detail in the power of what
people don’t say.
Its all in how you transition from topic to topic that makes
the experience so much smoother for both parties. We’ve all seen movies with
jump cuts, and although they are sometimes used to invoke a specific emotion,
that emotion is always a sense of disorientation or discomfort. Just as in
films a poor conversational transition disorients our audience just the same. Its
an art that simply requires repetitive practice. You will get better and you
will find key phrases, specific words and topics that you can easily utilize to
transition through easily.
The key with etiquette and conversational skills is simply
real world practice, so get out there and start right now.
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